Black Flies Post #6

Rutkovsky doesn't make it out ok. In fact, he doesn't make it out at all. He shot himself in the face at a park near the station. This way, he knew members from where he worked would find him, but Ollie, the one who treated him, didn't recognize him at all. He describes him here (WARNING: VERY DISCRIPTIVE!): "One eye, like a ball, hung by its ganglia, the tongue was only attached by a narrow isthmus of flesh, and the face, or the place where you would normally look for the face, was a blasted, ragged, unrecognizable mess of red meat with a hole where the mouth should have been. The guy's upper airway was relatively undamaged....As I did chest compressions blood oozed from his face, ran in rivulets down the tube, and bubbled from his ears"(148). Keep in mind, Rutkovsky did this to himself. He wanted people to know how much he had been hurt by what had happen. He couldn't live with what he had done and with how the mother got off like what she did was ok. He couldn't take it so he committed suicide. Ollie took this very hard. He went back to work with LaFontaine. This man was sick and disgusting. He was powerhungry. Ollie describes working with him here: "Every time I worked with LaFontaine he'd do some f*****-up thing to the unconcious or the helpless patients....I didn't join him, but I didn't stop him either....Really, without knowing it, I was getting worse"(162). He had to stop working with LaFontaine. He started working with Verdis and he still acted like he was with LaFontaine. But eventually, he returned back to his normal state of mind. He even got his first save (bringing someone back to life). He was a hero. That was during his last month of working as an EMT. He had gotten into medical school. That is where the book ends.
This book was horrifying and eye-opening at the same time. I could really see the toll being an EMT took on the people. I could see the stupid things people did to themselves and the irony in having to save them so they could OD again. I could see the struggles people went through everyday and how different people dealt with it. While Rutkovsky didn't make it, and LaFontaine had his own issues, Ollie survived. Verdis was a good medic too. There still were good medics out there. I believe it's all about how people deal with stress, anxiety, and trauma. I think Ollie handled it well. After all, he survived. I would definately recommend this book. While it is gory and bloody, it doesn't sugar-coat the truth, which is nice every once in a while.

Black Flies Post #5

Al of the EMT work has made Ollie and Rut too nonchalant when it comes to stressful, depressing emergency calls. They arrive at a room with a woman, who had just given birth to a "still born" child lying on the floor, inside, who was "trying to cut the twisted umbilical cord with the jagged end of a broken crack pipe"(114). Ollie attended to the mother and Rut attended to the "dead" child. Rut cut the umbilical cord and left the room with the baby. He came back very soon after however. The cops arrived and asked about the baby's condition. Ollie said it was a stillborn, but the cop thought he saw it breathing. Ollie meanwhile finds out that the woman was HIV positive and decided not to take her pills for it to keep the baby from getting it either. Also, she was a crackhead and took methadone. No wonder the baby was born 7 and a half months early. Anyways, another precinct's ambulences show up and ask about the baby. Rut shows them the way to it in the hallway, under some towels. Rut and Ollie finish up with the mother, but they, or should i say Rut, is stopped on their way out. A lieutenant stopped Rut and asked for his badge. Rut asked why and the man simply responded, "That dead baby is breathing"(118). Both Ollie and Rut were questioned and Rut was released from duty for good.
In this situation, both the mother and the baby lived. It's hard to blame Rutkovsky for this situation. While he was to blame, I think there were other factors that hold more blame than he does. First of all, even the mother thought the baby was dead. I'm not saying that her viewpoint should be trusted. After all Rut was the EMT here, but any person would think the baby was dead. Second of all, any baby born into the world like that has a high high high probability of being still born. Lastly, the whole EMT job makes people go crazy. It puts an extreme amount of stress on a person. EMTs act like heros, but they are not superheroes. They will and do make mistakes. No one died in this situation which is good for Rut. I think it will possibly help him "recover" from what happened. I feel really bad for him. I am angry at the mother for acting like a complete idiot and i think she has some blame on her as well. Overall however, Rutkovsky undoubtedly made a mistake. I just hope he makes it out ok.

Black Flies Post #4

Ollie and the other EMTs continue to see and get used to seeing extremely disgusting things. I'm not talking about a broken arm, a single gun shot or anything like that. I'm talking about seeing eyeballs laying on the ground while still attached to someones body. Or even intestines falling out of people's bodies and into their own hands. Horror movie kinds of things. But they are used to it. Ollie's everyday routine is filled with these kinds of situations. Ollie describes the normalcies of his day by saying it is filled, "Of seeing the skull beneath the scalp, the brain beneath the skull"(91). He continues, "Of seeing the chest open and the heart still beating with an unreal, spastic sort of motion, like a separate living thing"(91). Those kinds of images are things normal people would never ever EVER forget seeing. But this is an everyday occurence for them. To them, these types of occurences are forgettable.
So far, this book has truly opened my eyes to the world of EMTs and doctors. These people save the lives of others and sacrifice a part of them to do it. It is an incredible burden for people to have to see these types of things everyday of their lives. I couldn't do it. My dad used to be an EMT. I don't even think he made it a year before he quit. He told me it was just too much. I'm sure he saw things he wish he hadn't. This type of job clearly isn't for everyone. I know, like my dad, that I couldn't take it. I have to run out of a room and stick my fingers in my ears if someone throws up. I can't even imagine being stuck in an ambulence with someone who is severly injured and needs my help - I just couldn't do it. I admire all of the EMTs and doctors out there. This book has really made me appreciate what they do.